why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
