what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
