fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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