you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
