tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
