quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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