my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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