so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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