I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
