I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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