I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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