i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
