goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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