why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So squirting runs in the family.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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