I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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