(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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