His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
