I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
