would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
