Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
