I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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