Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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