Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
