Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
