This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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