So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize