weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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