She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
