my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
