I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
