lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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