Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
