i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're so nebulous sometimes
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
