just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
