susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
