Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
