I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
