This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
