whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
