guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
