theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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