where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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