D3 body, D1 cock
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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