If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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