Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
