when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
