She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
