i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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