so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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