he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Alive.
So much puke
Just pee around me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I came so hard my ears popped.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
